Some people might say that I am not be authoritative enough, or that I am giving him too much power or something. Perhaps even that I was justified in my response; after all, I am the adult and he needs to respect me, and he wasn't doing that. It seems that since I have become a mother, most of the advice I'm given has something to do with making sure the kids know who's boss or something along those lines.
Thing is though, I think I taught him something so much more important than, "always speak respectfully to adults, even when they're being unkind to you," (which really amounts to nothing more than adults are more important than kids so it's okay if I treat you poorly). I taught him that all people, even ones that are little or grumpy, are deserving of respectful treatment. I taught him it's not ever okay for someone else to treat him unkindly and that he is worth so very much more to me than being "right". I also taught him through my example, how to humbly and sincerely admit when you are wrong, to ask for forgiveness, and to repair the relationship.
I got to say that I think all of that is so much more important than just making sure he knows he has to be respectful to me.
I remember my first year doing Camp Reveal, my group was getting out of control at one point and I ended up being too harsh with one of the kids and taking away an unfair amount of swim time. Once I realized this I talked to the kid, told him that I had been wrong, and shortened the time out. What I chiefly remember though was the reaction of the other adults when I mentioned it - their advice was, don't ever admit you're wrong to one of the kids, or they'll take advantage of you. It was something I hadn't even had to think about, and in any case I didn't regret doing it. But your post reminded me of that.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! <3
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